Understanding your partner's Love Language!

We all wish men could read our minds but truth be told that is never going to happen....so I've learnt!

Men and women are different species and we rarely speak the same language, but when it comes to a committed partnership where you are both in it for the long haul and want it to work, we need to be able to understand each other.

If you haven't yet heard of "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman then listen up!

Every person has their own love language.

1) Words of affirmation

2) Quality time

3) Receiving gifts

4) Acts of service

5) Physical touch

To find out what yours is really think about what love language would make you feel LOVED!!!

Two or three might pop up for you but try to narrow it down to just one.

John suggests to ask yourself what do I deserve the most?

Once you have figured it out ask your partner to do the same.

Now you both have an understanding on your love language you can incorporate more of that into your lives.

For instance my love language is quality time and my  husband's is words of affirmation so I love it when my hubby takes the initiative to organize a babysitter so he can take me out on a romantic picnic just the two of us and he appreciates it when I say things like "I appreciate how hard you work to provide for us or "I love when you take the boys to the beach so I can relax, Thank you."

Understanding what each other's needs are is so important for any relationship.

Us women have a tendency to expect our men to just know what we want but they don't, so let's help them out and articulate to them what those needs are.

Saying "Babe I love it when you run your hands through my hair" tells him that you dig it and the more chances he'll do it again.

Speak up and don't be shy, I used to be and I'm slowly voicing my needs and wants.

Men find it very sexy and would rather know so they can please you exactly the way you want it!

Try practicing an act of love to your spouse everyday whatever their love language is and watch your relationship grow.

Have regular chats to each other about how each feels so you stay connected and in tune with each other.

Communication is the key to any successful partnership and one that will last a lifetime and I'm not saying mine is perfect, a marriage is a work in progress and we are on our journey of discovering what works best for us.

Communication has been a big issue in our relationship but we are aware of this and and we are working towards changing that.

Find what works for you and this may just be it!!!

When you feel that love and give love and you are happy in your relationship everything in life just falls into place and flows.....

Happy connecting...

Lots of love

Phoebe xx

In honour of Jess Ainscough! RIP Angel xx

The sad news of Jess Ainscough aka The Wellness Warrior really hit home for me last night and helped me realise that I was allowing fear to stop me from shining my light.

Jess was a beacon of light to so many and always shone bright.

With her passing being so sudden it made me realise that time is of the essence and us light workers have a mission to share our story to assist and help others, just like Jess did.

Jess was a true inspiration and she was one of the first "wellness" blogs I came across when I began my health and wellness journey 2 years ago.

I followed her on social media and visited her blog when I needed inspiration, we had similar beliefs and qualities and I admired her strength and authenticity.

One thing that she reminded me was to shine my light, don't hold back and live your dreams.

Well I was holding back from shining my light and living my dream all because of FEAR!

I was allowing fear to control my life.

My mission, the reason for this blog is to share my story, my life, my experiences, lessons and truths in hope that it will inspire you gorgeous women to do the same, but fear reared it's ugly head and my ego was telling me that I will be judged, I will be rejected, the fear of not being good enough and the fear of my work not being interesting or liked etc etc....

Those same stories we tell ourselves EVERY.SINGLE.DAY......

Fear and the ego will do it every time so it's up to us to stop and listen to what we are constantly telling ourselves and change it around.

Fear creates restriction in our minds, it is time to set that free, Yes?

Then you need to remember that......Everything is moving to perfection!

This is what I repeated to myself over and over and over again until the fear melted away and I was able to come back to myself reconnect and continue with the work.

Once that is set in your mind all fear is stripped away and it gives you the FREEDOM to be who you truly are and to live the life that you are meant to be living.

To be who you truly are and to shine your light and live your purpose with passion and to be able to serve others through that passion is what life is all about!

The world needs YOU!

I'm ready to SHINE are you with me?

Lots of love & gratitude

Phoebe Carmichael xx

How to implement self love into your busy life!

Here we are at the end of the blog series with the last three acts of self love, I've had so much fun writing it and I really hope you got something out of it. 

Something that we all deal with is FRUSTRATION, we are frustrated we don't have time, that we can't go to the toilet alone, that we have to wait to have a decent conversation with our husbands or friends, we are frustrated because our goals and aspirations are put on hold, or we can't cook dinner because that's the time our babies/toddlers want our undying attention like they have been neglected all day!!!!!

So how can we eliminate some of that frustration? 

By taking time out for ourselves, to fill our cup up, then and only then can we start to give back to our family!

The next 3 acts of self love are all about that, organising yourself so you are in more control over your time, grounding yourself and being grateful and taking a stand and choosing where you spend your precious time!

13)       Organise your day ahead, plan and form structure. Being organised creates order and a feeling of being in control. You will feel on top of things and the feelings of being overwhelmed will slip away. Whenever I feel myself feeling frustrated and overwhelmed I step back and access what’s not in order then apply some organisation and feel relaxed knowing all is in CONTROL! Plus I’m a big control freak and perfectionist but I’m working on that hahaha!!!!

                                                          {Image source: Google}

14)       Go outside barefoot and ground yourself! Connect yourself to Mother Earth and feel her love oozing into the soles of your feet, working her way up through your chakras. Look around and be GRATEFUL for all you have, thank the universe for all your blessings! Practising gratitude opens the door for more blessings to enter your life, it’s so easy to get carried away in your own little world so for today just STOP, centre yourself and be grateful! Start a gratitude journal if you feel this will help!

                                                                                       {Image Source: Google}

15)       Last but not least SWITCH OFF FROM SOCIAL MEDIA…….Yep that’s right disconnect, disengage, turn all your electronics OFF! Technology and all the  EMF etc it’s bad for your health and we are on these devices way too long. I was a Facebook addict, I used the excuse of being isolated, no friends or no hubby around and my business to be on Facebook/Social media ALL the time it was CONSUMING me and I felt horrible.

        I hate to think the damage it was doing to my health,  plus I was neglecting my kids as I was on it all the time, checking posts, likes, comments, etc  but this year is the year of ACTION and I made a promise to myself that I will only use social media for business and limit my personal use to 30 Min's a day and SUNDAYS are my technology free days as from now and its working,

 I am more connected with my family, I’m not stressing that I don’t have time for anything and I’m getting more work done YAY WINNING!!!!! Perhaps write up a schedule for yourself or allocate certain time slots or choose one day where you completely SWITCH OFF! 

Get outside with the kids and kick a ball or play in the sandpit, they will love you for it! My boys love that mummy is taking that time for them, I chased them around the park today and they were giggling away loving every moment, let's cherish these moments because they really do grow up too quick!

Thank you for your company and I look forward to sharing more on the blog soon!

Lots of love & gratitude

Phoebe Carmichael xoxox

How to implement self love into your life....Part 4!

Welcome back.....

Thank you for being here, my wish is that you are gaining some inspiration to look after YOU and to take care of your beautiful soul and body because you deserve it.

 Something that has been on my mind lately is FORGIVENESS.... it wasn't until recently when my mentor said to me "You need to forgive yourself"   I really didn't understand what he meant, I thought I had already worked on past issues and forgave myself but I was wrong, boy was I wrong. 

I still had so much anger, resentment, guilt, shame and regret from my past relationships with ex partners, my mother, my father, friends etc....and I was still carrying that toxic energy around. 

The past issues I had with my ex partners were still haunting me and I was unintentionally taking that out on my husband.

So here I am at the age of 37 learning to forgive myself for the pain I have unintentionally caused to others and it is such a relief once you do, it is literally like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders and you have grown wings.

You finally get to experience what freedom feels like, free from the comparison, free from the drama, free from the hurt, free from the need to protect yourself, free from the needing to always be right ugh that one was a real pain and what I've learnt is that when you free yourself from ALL of that junk you feel PEACE, peace within yourself and peace around you.

So I ask you today to take a moment to think of all the "junk" that you have been carrying around for all those years and acknowledge it, think it, feel it and let it go, for you didn't know any better, It's ok you didn't mean to say the things you said or do the things you did, that was then and this is now, FORGIVE yourself and set yourself free. 

Feel the FREEDOM and shine your beautiful light!

Continuing on from yesterday is our next 3 tips on implementing self LOVE into your day or week!

10)       Breathe……put your tongue on the roof of your mouth and just BREATHE…….2 Min's, 5 Min's or 15 Min's Inhale......Exhale......Inhale.....Exhale...... If you can do this practise everyday you will feel AMAZING and so PEACEFUL!!! Thanks to Blake D Bauer for this tip!

                                                                                 {IMAGE SOURCE: GOOGLE}

11)       Make your own natural face mask during the day it will take literally take two minutes, (Google, Pinterest etc for recipes) and pop it into the fridge so when the kids go to bed you can take it out and apply it and relax knowing your skin will be GLOWING in the morning!

                                                              {Image Source: Google}

12)       Have a shower or bath at night, exfoliate (so easy to make your own and cheaper once again search Google or Pinterest) or use a dry brush then lather yourself in coconut oil and feel like an Islander Goddess!!!

Here is a great article on the benefits of dry brushing which is an old Ayurveda tradition known to rejuvenate your cells and so much more....Click the link for the full article!

http://www.naturalhealthmag.com.au/content/dry-skin-brushing


Mamas you can do this, the time that you spend on yourself even if it's 5 Min's will make the world of difference and will make you realise what an AMAZING, CARING, GIVING, LOVABLE person you truly are, you give so much to everyone else, it's time you gave back to yourself and start respecting yourself as a person. Be affectionate with yourself if that's what you want more of in your life, start with yourself and watch how people around you become more affectionate toward you.   LOVE YOU! 

Let's catch up tomorrow for the conclusion of  "How to implement self love into your life blog series."

Lots of love & gratitude

Phoebe Carmichael

Empowering Freedom for Women.

15 ways of implementing self love into your life! Part 3....

Hello beautiful souls,

We are almost there, I’m so excited for the next 3 acts of self love,  how has it been going for you?

Do you struggle finding time or are you taking charge and making time?

Either way it's all good, you do what you can and I congratulate you on a job well done mama!

Yesterday we looked at taking time out to paint your nails or get a pedicure, nourishing your soul with wholesome and inspiring books or workbooks really getting to the core of your desires which you can then manifest on your very own vision board for the year.

My next acts of self love are:

7)       Listening to music can make your spirits soar, whatever your taste of music is pop on your headphones or pump up the music and MOVE, dance and shake off all your troubles from the day….RELEASE your anger, frustration, sadness, bad mood etc and just get lost in the moment that is YOUR moment! I love drumming it helps me release and let it ALL GO!!!!!!

8)       Ask your partner, friend etc to massage your feet with some yummy, delicious coconut oil infused with 100% pure therapeutic essential oils of your choice. Oh and whatever you do, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY for receiving! I used to feel guilty all the time and then I didn't enjoy it. Guilt doesn't serve you so remove that unwanted emotion and ENJOY guilt free! YOU DESERVE IT MAMA!!!!

                                                                                 {Image from Google}

9)       Use essential oils to improve your health & wellness! I recently become an independent distributor for Young Living essential oils and they are AMAZING!!!!! Not every bottle you see in the shops is 100% pure, unfortunately if companies have only 5% pure essential oils in the oils they can claim it’s 100% so please be mindful when choosing  your oils. Young Living oils has changed our lives, we use them for bumps, cuts, upset tummies (Chron’s disease), colds and as a sleeping aid, I apply lavender or Stress away to my boys temples and bottom of their feet for a restful sleep! There are 3 ways to use the oils Inhale, Diffuse and apply topically. They have single oils and blends and my favorite one is Stress Away which I use liberally to help me get through the day and I have peace of mind that they are all natural, straight from plant to bottle. Nature’s medicine is so powerful when used correctly and I am so excited to implement them into our daily lives. I will be running a little competition soon and will be giving away some free samples of Young Living Essential Oils very soon so stay tuned.......

What a morning, you know those mornings where you just want to crawl back into bed haha!! As soon as we got up Mast 1 was whinging and crying and fussing and nothing I did would satisfy him!

Lucky I was off to boot-camp this morning, they have free child minding which is great and the boys love playing with the other kids while I work my butt off for an hour getting fit but also relieving the stress. All those endorphin's make me a happy woman and my mood is automatically lifted! I actually look forward to each session now as it's my time for me, an act of self love. I think whatever us mum's do to lift our spirits we should do more of that then we become happier mama's and are able to handle stressful situations easier than if we didn't! I never used to want to look after myself. I was lazy back in the day and it all seemed like to much hard work now I crave it, as I use that time to concentrate on me and my needs, it's so important! So what will you do to make yourself feel good?

Until tomorrow......Love & Gratitude

Phoebe xxx

Hey gorgeous,

Welcome to the second day of the blog series “15 tips on how you can implement self love into your life”

Here’s a refresher on yesterday’s acts of self love:

1)       Start your day with a glass of warm lemon water

2)       Go for a walk and repeat affirmations and

3)       Make a cup of herbal tea, ignore the domestic duties and put your feet up for 10 mins OR do the yoga pose Viparita Karani which is laying on your back with your legs against a wall.

How did you go today?

Did you manage to squeeze one act of self love into your day! How did it feel? I’m so excited for you!

Today it’s all about getting creative and nourishing your soul. We’ll start off with these AWESOME activities!!

1)       Paint your toenails or get a pedicure! The end result is some ROCKIN’ toenails and whenever you look at those glamorous nails you will have a big SMILE ear to ear and feel like a million bucks J

2)       Read a nourishing book/novel or dive into a self-help workbook like Leonie Dawson’s “2015 Create your Amazing year” or Danielle Laporte “The Desire Map” or read something inspirational like Gabrielle Bernstein “Miracles Now- 108 life-changing tools for less stress, more flow and finding your true purpose”. Working on your core desires is an act of SELF LOVE!!! Whenever I do any of these even if it’s for an hour I literally feel like I have been on a holiday and feel refreshed!

3)       Get creative – Implement your core desires onto your very own VISION/MANIFESTATION board and see your desires and wishes come to fruition! OR get in touch with your inner child and colour in, do mandalas, draw, do arty crafty stuff, scrapbook/create a photo album old school style for family and friends for Christmas/Birthdays! Getting your creative juices flowing helps your life flow and eases stress!

My intention  for this blog is to be REAL, HONEST and AUTHENTIC which is why I am sharing with you some of the challenges I face as a mum of four children.

In today’s society it’s fake, pretence, and dishonest especially online. Everyone thinks everyone else has this “PERFECT” life, well I call bullshit (excuse the french) and say let’s keep this real and be honest with each other, so we can all relate to each other and support one another.

Being a mum is one of THE hardest jobs on the planet and there is enough pressure on us mums let alone feeling like we need to strive for perfection.

My wish is that this blog inspires you to be your authentic self and to know that you have got support and you are not alone!

Today Master 1 was having one of those moments and it’s always when I’m cooking dinner, that “witching” hour ugh it drives me crazy….You know what I mean?

Well here I am trying to cook dinner one of Quirky cooking’s all in one meals in the Thermomix and he was crying and whinging and all he wanted was me, It was the worst time as I couldn’t focus my attention on him at this present moment and I could feel my stress levels increasing and blurted out “Ok baby PLEASE STOP” in a raised voice, he just sat on the kitchen floor balling his eyes out and I instantly felt a pang of guilt, so I picked him up and gave him big cuddles and kisses and asked my eldest to look after him.

It was in that moment of frustration that I thought “What is he feeling to be acting like this” he must be trying to communicate something to me and I wasn’t listening!

The reason he was crying was he heard the Thermomix and thought I was juicing which he helps me with everyday and all he wanted to do was to help me make a juice {awwwww} how cute is he, so mama’s next time I will STOP, BREATHE and attend to him and tap into my mother’s intuition and LISTEN!

God bless his little cotton socks hehe!!!!

Tomorrow we are halfway there so don’t forget to tune in and I’ll talk to you then!

Love & Gratitude

Phoebe xx

How to implement self love into your life! Part 1....

As busy mums the last thing we think about are our needs, right?

The kids are needing snacks, want a drink, you have to do the washing, you have to think about what your going to cook for dinner, school drop off and pick up then you can add on the pressures of running a business, or whether your going to immunise or  start pre-school etc  you name we do it and it is EXHAUSTING emotionally, physically and mentally and by the time the kids go to bed you’re either catching up on washing, dishes, work etc or just plonk on the lounge in an exasperated heap!!!

So how can YOU implement self love and self care into your already BUSY day?

Over the next week I will be sharing with you 15 of my self love tips, please grab a cuppa, get comfortable and enjoy the read and If you have any questions or anything to share about this topic please leave your comment in the box below!

Let me start off by saying WELL DONE!!!!

You my friend are doing an AMAZING job whether you’re a single mum, partnered, your partner works away (FIFO) you have support or you don’t, this gig is hard work and that is why it is SO important to look after yourself, first and foremost and these 15 tips are so easy to structure into your day or week that you’ll be thinking WHY haven’t I done this earlier??

These are little things that I have learnt to adapt into my life, because if I didn't I would most likely have checked myself into a mental asylum LOL!!!

You see we moved to the Gold Coast from Sydney a year ago last month and all our family are still in Sydney so we have no family support here and being a SAHM with four children 19, 16, 4 and 20 months and my husband works away doing FIFO work with a 3 week on and 1 week off roster and let me tell you  I have had meltdowns, I have felt overwhelmed like I couldn’t go on and I have felt like a screaming banshee losing my mind over the littlest things and taking it out on my children and partner!

I get it and you know what IT IS OK!!!

There is nothing wrong with you or me at all, we just need to take control of our lives and practise SELF LOVE and SELF CARE into our days so we don’t feel like we’re going to explode!

I suggest starting off small so maybe  try one of these tips a week and work your way to 2 so on and so on and before you know it you will be doing them EVERYDAY like you hang out the washing!

And you will start to enjoy it because it FEELS GOOD and when you feel good your mood changes and everything FLOWS just like the blood flows through your body and creates chi energy you will become calmer, happier and more joyful!

My first 3 tips are:

1)       Start your day with a warm glass of filtered lemon water, it detoxes the body and removes toxins built up over night, it improves digestion, hydrates your body, promotes healthy skin, boosts energy and your immune system, is a weight loss aid (I put 3-4 drops of Young Living Lemon essential oil into a warm glass of water every morning and it has helped me shed weight PLUS my skin is super soft and clear), alkalizes your body (dis-ease is formed in an acidic body), boosts brain power and helps you wean off caffeine.

2)       Go for a walk~ when it all gets too much and you feel like your going to lose your shit get baby in the pram, carrier etc grab your littlies and go for a nature walk. Nature is the best and cheapest form of therapy, once you step out of your surroundings and you’re out amongst nature you automatically feel lighter and your stresses fall away, try taking deep breathes as you walk and say affirmations to yourself such as “All is well in my world” or “I am a strong, loving and capable person” or “I am love” and notice how your shoulders drop and you start to feel happier, then you can play with the kids in the park and have some fun! Get in touch with your inner child and feel JOYFUL!

3)       When baby/toddler/child has a daytime nap make yourself a cup of herbal tea, DO NOT DO ANY HOUSEWORK sit outside or on your couch and *sigh* RELAX pop your feet up sip your warming tea and just BE in the moment with yourself!

        Another wonderful and relaxing idea is to lay on the floor on your back with your feet against the wall, in yoga they call this the Viparita Karani pose pronounced (vip-par-ee-tah car-AHN-ee)  Feel how good that is……the dishes can wait trust me! Taking even 10 minutes aside for yourself is beneficial for your health and sanity.

               {Image from Google}

I don't know about you but last week was a real challenge for me, I was more emotional than normal, stressed and had had enough. It was the third week into hubby's swing and I was ready to run away to a secluded beach and never come back!

 You know those moments of desperation and that thought of "Who can I ask to look after the kids for a week" or " Hmm 3 days isn't too long to dissapear, Is it?"

Then reality kicks in and you realise it isn't going to happen (sigh) It was one of those moments where everything got on top of me and the smallest thing would set me off!

I would automatically go into "stress mode" and I just couldn't snap out of it, my emotions were at an all time high, frustration reared it's ugly head and I verbally took it out on my kids and hubby!

And the reason was I wasn't getting time for myself or should I say I wasn't MAKING time for myself. Us mum's always complain "I don't have 5 mins to myself, I'll be honest I've said it too many times to count and the truth is we DO have 5 mins to ourselves it's just up to us to prioritize that time and make sure we do something for ourselves like one of my tips above, it really isn't that hard or time consuming and these little acts of love for ourselves make the world of difference!

So when hubby came home I voiced my despair and told him I need some time out instead of soldiering on and as lovely as he is, over the next 5 days  he took the boys to the beach and park and gave me my time.

In this time I was able to STOP, BREATHE and RECONNECT with myself! I took control and admitted my true feelings and SURRENDERED and you can too! If you don't have a partner to help out I truly sympathize as I too was a single mum with my older 2 children so I understand how hard it is but even more reason to implement these tips of self love!

Do it for yourself and for your family they will see the difference and  how much happier you have become because when we invest in ourselves and fill our cups up we become our authentic selves and can truly shine!


Join me tomorrow for the next 3 tips on how to implement self love  into your life!

Because YOU are worth it!

Lots of love and gratitude 

Phoebe Carmichael xx